-When the heart is Broken

before i go on with this post, i need to know what happened to Toni Braxton??

i was listening to her song 'Un-break my heart' at late night capital, this song is very deep, i cant get over the words. I have been through my share of down moments in relationships, i know we all feel helpless, unappreciated, lonely... But honestly not this:

Dont leave me in all this pain
Dont leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Dont leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I cant forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Un-break my heart
Say youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Dont leave me in all this pain
Dont leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say youll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin
Without you I just cant go on
Cant go on

let me make something perfectly clear, when its over, ITS OVER!!
OK, i must admit that was someone in love talking...

i have been there i know those moments when you cant seem to understand what went wrong, when everything doesn't make sense, when crying is the only thing that feels right.And when the phone rings you wish it was him, when that song plays and his face is all you see, you delete his number yet you know it by heart....
Its not easy. But its not worth bagging your life with emotions that only bring you down. And listening to Toni's song wont make it easier... its a beautiful thing to fall in love, but when you tie your heart to it, not thinking of the possibility of breaking up, it will only be harder when it happens.

-Getting it right!

There are so many emotions i am fighting with right now. last Suturday i confessed to him, that I had kissed another man. I have said this before I can’t hide anything from him, it was the right thing to do, and only the timing was wrong…it was his birthday.
“I have to tell you something that you won’t be so happy to hear” I said
“I kissed another man”
………silence……
At this point, I saw his heart break in front of me, I saw his tears, I heard him weap. I realised how much he loved me, I had to let him know, I wasn’t planning to tell him, but I needed this opening from him, without him forgiving me, I would still feel like I cheated on him. I needed to deal with the consequences of his wrath I needed to know that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
“Why?”
And when he asked me that, I realised that nothing I could say would make it right, I couldn’t find a reason or an answer to what I did, I dint want to let him go. I know he has been faithful to me. I dint want to be the cause of our ending because i am somewhere I can never be with anyone else, but i am with him, everything is so beautiful with him, it is so beautiful to fall in love with him. he completes me.
I know I hurt him. I am hurt too, hurt by the fact that i can be weak, i know am vulnerable, But what hurts me most, what kills me most is that he blames himself for what I did…

“its not the kiss, its that you sometimes need someone, and thoughts of me are not enough, worst part is, I understand, I wonder everyday if today is the day I don’t matter enough, how can I fight for you when the one you fight is yourself?”

When he talks to me, I realise how much even in his anger, he loves me. I am human, I let my emotions rule, I know I hurt him and even if he forgave me, I keep thinking that things might never be the same again, God! I love him, I would do it right if I could turn back time, Am so lucky that i have him, he is my everything! And I am nothing without him; I never want to hurt him again. There is definitely no kiss without him.